Once upon a time, a man named Fred (who goes by “Fredrick Scissorhand”) missed his league’s fantasy football draft.  So his team was drafted by Yahoo’s software system (aka “autodraft”).

There are some lessons to be learned from this story.  First you must understand the importance of knowing when to draft certain types of players. 

For example, you should draft your quarterback after the 6th round.  And then you don’t need to get another quarterback until after the 15th round. Two quarterbacks are enough. 

You should draft one kicker and one team defense in the last few rounds of the draft (rounds 18-23).  Most of the time you’ll be streaming these two spots.

So here’s what happened when Fred let autodraft (AD) pick his team.

  1. AD gets QB Matt Ryan in the 5th round
  2. AD gets defense Pittsburgh in the 9th round
  3. AD gets second QB Jared Goff in the 10th round
  4. AD gets Ryquell Armstead in the 14th round. (Ryquell is out with COVID)
  5. AD gets second defense Minnesota in the 15th round.
  6. AD gets third QB Jimmy Garoppolo in the 16th round
  7. AD gets two more kickers (Robbie Gould and Zane Gonzalez) in rounds 17 and 18.
  8. AD gets DeAndre Washington in the 20th round (DeAndre is on the practice squad)
  9. AD gets Tyrell Williams in the 22nd round (out with season ending injury)
  10. AD gets Mohamed Sanu in the 23rd round (currently unemployed)

 

Here are some players Fred missed out on:

  • 5th round:  Diontae Johnson, Evan Engram, Sterling Shepard, Mecole Hardman
  • 9th round:  A.J. Dillon, Bryan Edwards, O.J. Howard
  • 10th round: Aaron Rodgers, Sony Michel, Eric Ebron, Chris Herndon
  • 15th round: Alshon Jeffrey, Justin Jackson,  Marques Valdes-Scantling
  • 17th/18th round: Darrynton Evans, Nyheim hines, Chase Claypool, Dawson Knox, Gardner Minshew

 

So the morale of the story is, take the time to plan ahead so you’ll be ready to draft when the time comes.  Don’t let Yahoo’s stupid autocorrect draft your team for you, otherwise you’ll end up with 3 quarterbacks, two defenses, three kickers, a player out with COVID, a player with a season ending injury, a player on the practice squad, and a player who’s currently not with any team lol.  

This is how Yahoo likes to screw you!  Draft smart.  Good luck and happy fantasy footballing!

Also, if you ever want to throw a fantasy football draft party and are looking for draft party girls (sexy servers, topless waitress/bartenders, strippers, etc), go to Love Bunnies and they can help you throw the best party ever!